What Is Love.

        Love is the wish for others to be happy and to have the causes of happiness. It includes the quality of being sensitive to others’ needs and a willingness to contribute to their happiness, expressed in acts of kindness.
  
        
                 "True love is the desire to maintain the happiness of all beings impartially, regardless of whether we like them or not." – Yongdzin Ling Rinpoche

         Love is based on understanding that everyone is equal in wanting to be happy and so, in Buddhism, love is universal and unconditional. It can be extended equally to everyone, regardless of their relation with us or what they’ve done, and it expects nothing in return.

                                 Love versus Attachment

             Love is often accompanied by other emotions, such as unhealthy attachment. With this, we exaggerate someone’s good qualities – either actual or imagined – and deny their shortcomings. We cling to them and get upset when they don’t pay attention to us, thinking, “I love you; don’t ever leave me; I can’t live without you.”
              Love in Buddhism certainly has a feeling of closeness with others, but because it expects nothing in return and isn’t based on whether they also love and care for us, there’s no dependence on anyone. Attachment upsets our minds and doesn’t fit in with the type of calm, strong love cultivated in Buddhism.

                                Stable Love

Love mixed with attachment and dependency is unstable. If the person we love does something that hurts us, we might no longer love them. Just look at how many marriages start with love and end in divorce!
Love in the Buddhist sense is much more stable. When we’re free of expectations, nothing can sway us from it. Just as parents always love and want the best for their naughty child, developing stable love gives us the strength to deal with even the most challenging people.

                          Loving Ourselves

Universal love includes an often overlooked aspect: we need to love ourselves too, but not in a self-centered way. It’s not merely wishing for something to gratify our restless desire for pleasure and entertainment. The small amount of happiness we get from such things never lasts and we always end up wanting more.
Instead, with sincere love, we have genuine concern for our own short and long-term welfare. When we really want to be kind to ourselves, this loving attitude motivates us to find, apply and sustain the causes that will bring this about. One of the most effective ways is to develop universal, unbiased love for everyone.

 

                                                  Verified and approved by Dr. Alexander Berzin